Myths About Tantra and Tantric Sex

Because tantra celebrates sexuality, it has become ripe for criticism and misunderstanding. Here are some myths and truths about tantric sex:

Myth: Tantric sex is all about sex.
Truth: Tantric sex practices sometimes do not even include genital contact they are really about energetic and spiritual contact between partners. Intercourse or the connection of genitals only serves to heighten the energetic connection when a couple is ready for that intimate stage.

Myth: Practicing tantra means you give up pleasure.
Truth: This myth is the opposite of the mistaken belief I just addressed that tantra is all about sex; neither extreme is true. Tantra does not require a renunciation of pleasure, even though some yogic practices do; rather tantra is an enhancement of joy and pleasure. The tantric sex path does not see desire as something to be denied, as if you have to mimic the image of the Buddha sitting silently meditating cross-legged, alone, not thinking of anything and giving up sex. Instead, tantra recognizes the powerful force that sex plays in our lives and harnesses it to achieve states of bliss beyond
just physical pleasure.

Myth: Tantric sex encourages indulgences of the appetites, which leads to affairs or orgies.
Truth: Tantric sex does not advocate indulging uncontrolled sexual or other appetites, or multiplying your desires and wallowing in pleasure. In fact, it trains us to control desire to channel it to higher purposes. What’s more, connection between two people is meant to be considered very seriously and commitment highly regarded. Although some people use tantric sex as a way to rationalize having sex with many different people or many people at once, this is not the spirit of true tantra. Sexuality is not meant to be flittered away mindlessly or thoughtlessly, but honored and intended for the purpose of higher states of consciousness,rather than simply physical stimulation or satisfaction.
You could even say that you can resist sexual contact with others because you are trained to be able to connect with others emotionally and spiritually, without having to engage bodies in sex. In a true tantric practitioner, a newly liberated libido does not act out promiscuous desires.

Myth: Tantric sex turns you into a sex maniac.
Truth: Tantric sex does release your sexual energy and give you full permission to express yourself so the tendency to act out sexually is possible, but only if you misuse the practices. If you learn the practices responsibly, you will overcome any tendencies to have random, meaningless sex.

Myth: Tantric sex is for Easterners and is not consistent with how we see sex in the West.
Truth: As I mentioned earlier in this chapter, tantric sex practices are actually quite consistent with our Western way of thinking. The focus on the individual, the acceptance of pleasure, and clearly defined steps are a perfect fit with the way Westerners currently live their lives. Tantric sex retools these approaches to be more aligned with the road to true ecstasy.

Myth: Tantra is a religion and a cult that will trap or brainwash you.
Truth: Tantra is neither a religion or a cult. The genuine ethical tantra teachers do not want to control you; they merely guide you in a series of practices that you choose for yourself and adapt into your life.

Myth: It takes a long time to learn how to do tantric sex.
Truth: One of the beautiful aspects of the tantric path is that the practices can be put into effect immediately and results noticed. In just one weekend workshop you can learn enough basic ideas and practical exercises to immediately improve your sex life and general feelings about yourself, which will generate to every part of your life.