he never gives me oral
my boyfriend and i have been together for about 3 years, in that time i can only remember one occasion that he gave me amazing oral sex, despite the fact that i regularly give him blow jobs and put a lot of effort into doing it how he likes. he will sometimes go down there and give my clitoris a quick lick, and then spit on his fingers using them to simulate oral sex rather than actually doing it.
i try to communicate what i like and ask him to do it and he either ignores me or says no.
when i have bought this point up with him his reasons have been that i’m not slim enough for him to enjoy doing it to me (i’m uk size 16, not huge!) and that he wants to hold something back either because i wont let him have anal sex with me or that i wont allow him to sleep with other women. he also said that oral on me is something to be saved for special occasions (but that never happens and oral on him is wanted as often as i can possibly manage)
its such a frustrating problem as when i talk to him he takes it as criticism and becomes defensive and its not something i’m comfortable talking to a friend about, i feel totally trapped. i have difficulty reaching orgasm and oral is one way that works for me, no other sexual partners have ever had a problem going down on me, i’m clean and i’m sure there’s nothing wrong with the way i smell or taste (although i’m beginning to think my partner must dislike it)
the normal sex is fine, but i’m finding it hard to deal with what seems to me as double standards and selfishness in bed, i know he can perform oral well because he’s done it before, what do i do? please help…………….
Hi kstar.
3 years for relationship is a really long period, and it is not so common that couples can’t find solution for their problems for such a long time. I think that your boyfriend is not sincere with you or is very selfish. The only problem that he could really have by giving you oral sex is hygiene and strange smell, but as you are clean and no one else had any problems in past, any other excuses are not acceptable.
My advice in this situation for you is to try these three steps.
In first step try to talk with him once again very seriously. The best way to overcome this kind of problem is in communication and open talks. Tell him that you want to be pleasured just as like he enjoys your oral sex. If he really cares about you he will respond positively.
If not, in second step you will stop giving him oral sex until he agrees to return to you with oral sex by his side. Attack him with same weapon he did to you when he asked you for anal sex. This should give results for real, because he should finally understand that he can’t ask only to get, instead he should be giving in return also.
And the last step, if two above are not successful: leave your boyfriend and try to find another one who will be able to understand your needs and feelings. You shouldn’t suffer in bad for selfishness of your current boyfriend. You should enjoy all the great feelings that mutual sex can produce.
Please come back with results when you talk with your boyfriend.
Good luck,
Stiven
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